i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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