Screwed.edu
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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