That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
