i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
