At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
