I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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