So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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