Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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