We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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