I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
