I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
