my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
