Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
