question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
