don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
