More tranny stories later!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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