and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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