I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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