he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Randomize
