does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
