dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
