..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
