Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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