In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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