she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
