yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize