Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
