why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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