GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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