ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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