I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Your cock deserves a montage
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize