i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
