I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
