ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
