hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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