my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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