no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
