I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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