how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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