i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
