im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
