Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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