And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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