Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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