OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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