Four minutes until I can fart!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
