In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
