I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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