This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
