Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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