ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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