i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
