And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize