omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I came so hard my ears popped.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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