i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Pants are for mortals
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
