i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
