I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
