i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
