if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
