I skipped work to stalk him.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
