my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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