"it" just moved
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
