i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize