your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
