I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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