i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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