It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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