it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
